California Racquet Club

With the help of a peculiar hunger therapist, a picky king finds the one thing that can satisfy his hunger.

nathansmart:

For some reason, one of the first comedy things I ever wrote just popped into my head a couple of weeks ago.  I remembered in elementary school that we started a choir in the back of the bus where we would sing parodies of popular songs, all about riding the bus and how great we were as a choir.  I think it lasted probably all of a week until we were on to the next dumb thing but I took it seriously enough to write a parody during one of my classes.  New Kids on the Block were big at that time and their second album featuring the song “You Got It (The Right Stuff)” was huge.  So, I took that song and wrote the first verse for our choir and that is the earliest comedy thing I ever wrote (that I can think of).

Naturally, I immediately thought of the unjustness of my hard work being flushed down the drain and decided to fix the issue by finishing the rest of the parody and recording my very own version of the song.  So, sit back, relax, go to sleep, wake up in the middle of the night after a nightmare, wake up, eat some breakfast, check Facebook and then go on about the rest of your day.  You deserve it.

Oh, and I included the song in case anyone wanted to hear it.

The Bus Choir (Parody of “You Got It (The Right Stuff)”)

The Bus Choir/
The Bus Choir/

Our first song was a great one/
Second song was the best/
Our third and our fourth ones, we haven’t written yet/
We can sing it in the dark/
Sing it while we walk/
We can sing it at every bus stop but MLK Boulevard/

We are the bus choir, baby/
The bus driver, she sings along/
We are the bus choir, baby/
She’s the reason why we sing this song/

All that we need is a tune/
Unfurled, but so tight/
And even with all the bus fumes/
We won’t fall (or sing the blues)/

Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh/
Oh, oh, oh-oh/
Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh/
The Bus Choir/

Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh/
Oh, oh, oh-oh/
Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh/
The Bus Choir/

Second hit didn’t miss/
Third and our fourth hits, we haven’t released yet/
We can sing it in the dark/
Sing it while we walk/
We can sing it in every nation too, even in Iraq/

We are the bus choir, baby/
The bus driver, she sings along
We are the bus choir, baby/
She’s the reason why we sing this song/

All that we need is a tune/
Fist clenched tight, but no mic/
And even with all the bus fumes/
We won’t fall (we’ll never sing the frickin’ blues)/

Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh/
Oh, oh, oh-oh/
Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh/
The Bus Choir/

Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh/
Oh, oh, oh-oh/
Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh/
The Bus Choir/

Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh/
Oh, oh, oh-oh/
Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh/
The Bus Choir/

Impressive!

In honor of the now dead WJZA 103.5 smooth jazz radio station in Columbus, OH, I am reposting our sketch “W1057 105.7 The Smooth.”  This is a tribute to that once great, once smooth station.

…a music snob: Radiohead

…a movie snob: Citizen Cane

…a Fraggle: worries

…a Sex and the City fan: Sex in the City 2

…a Dream On fan: Dream On

…a hardcore video gamer: real life

…a coke addict: Pixie Stix

…a meth addict: real life

…a technophile: abacus

…a pedophile: Megan’s Law

Nathan Smart & Colin Perkins have been featured in a real newspaper article about the upcoming Columbus Comedy Festival - as apposed to the articles they create themselves in their basements featuring stories about Colin saving people from a fire, and Nathan choking a dragon to death. Those are also good and available upon request. But in the meantime, enjoy this piece from this week’s issue of Columbus Alive.

2 In A Room Should Really Release A Follow Up To Wiggle It

You might be thinking that there really isn’t much more to be said about dancing in the song Wiggle It by 2 in a Room but you are dead wrong.  It’s time that they released a follow up.  I’ve been dancing to that song for almost 20 years now and, while I admit that it never gets old, it’s kind of starting to get old.

For the first time recently I decided to sit down and figure out what they are saying besides just telling me to wiggle it a little bit.  Wow, was I in for a shocker.  I had no idea that wiggling it is really all there is to that song.  They are literally just repeating the command to wiggle it over and over again but in different ways.  Is this what all dance music is like?

Where’s the substance?  I thought for sure there was something political going on here.  This song just begs to have some sort of political meaning attached to it.  I’m not the one to do it but I guess I can try.  Let’s see..  Let me look over the lyrics again.

As it grooves you feel the tension in the air and now you’re hype
You’re gettin’ down because the sound is just your type

I got nothing.

That’s why I’m begging 2 in a Room to make a comeback and record a sequel.  But this time, I want them to pull out all the stops.  Let’s make a statement y’all!  Maybe you can talk a little bit about Afghanistan or healthcare.  Something like:

I wanna see you move your body and get down tonight to party
We need a public option and let’s pull out of Afghanistan everybody!

Something like that.

And we can still give it a snappy name and chorus.  Just sneak in all those political bits.  How about we call it Jiggle It?  What about Wiggle It Again?  Here’s one: Pickle It (I admit, that’s more of a “Weird Al” title).  I think all of those could be made into nice hooks and danceable rhythms.  Maybe not the Wiggle It Again suggestion but you guys are pros.  I’m sure you could come up with something.

If any of the guys are interested and want to get in touch I’m available.  Just don’t email me or call me.

-…the first day of Ronald Reagan’s presidency was spent watching Taxi Driver over and over again, in total, 15 times?

-…that there are 42 rose petals sewn to each piece of toilet paper in the White House main bathroom?*

-…that the Constitution of the United States was transcribed by Jacob Shallus and is written mostly in poop while the i’s and t’s are dotted and crossed with pee?**

-…that the New Deal was originally called the Old Deal but since it was conceived on a Wednesday - Opposite Day - the administration was ethically obligated to go with New?

-…that in 1959, Hawaii became the 50th united state of America?

-…that the Whitehouse has a secret elevator that transports the President and 5 of his closest friends/family to a secret, underground Macy’s department store that used to be a Lazarus and was also the location where they shot most of the scenes for the sitcom Family Ties starring Michael J. Fox?

-……that 6 of our American presidents were 66% left-handed?***

*Each rose petal is handsewn by the First Lady and has been since the presidency of Abraham Lincoln.  Before then, the task was given to the First Lady Slave.

**The original copy is on display at the National Archives and Records Administration in Washington, D.C. but the smell is so unbearable that hardly anyone has ever seen it.

***The Presidents pointed out in the above picture are NOT the 6 left-handed Presidents.  They are pointed out, instead, for their fondness of hemp-colored undershorts.